Praise God, for He is good!

The day after my last desperate post, God answered it.
After training one of my boys on Saturday morning I was talking to his mom, and she offered me a room in their basement for free. Furthermore, she wants me to eat meals with the family as well. Today we started talking about what I do, and she got all fired up to help me. So she is talking to all her friends and relatives, which will really help to extend my network.
When God provides, he doesn't mess around.
And thank you so much to this family for being an amazing blessing to me.

I want out

Please pray that I can find a new place to live. This one is starting to get to me. I have such a hard time concentrating when the TV is going, and some days it is going 24 hours on end. Grrr. I hate unproductivity.

This is a "medal" I made for one of my kids at work. The idea was to imitate a painted gold medal. It utilizes two NASA images, a stock photo of a bald eagle, and a number of tools in the GIMP.

Balam Part IV

16) "Knows the Knowledge of the Most High" I wonder about the significance of "Most High" vs. "Almighty"
17) In the distant future a king shall rise. Which King will it be that crushes Moab, anyway? David?
18) Edom. Essau. Essau will finally be subjected to Jacob, in fulfillment of the prophecy, "The older will serve the younger." (Genesis 25:22)
Seir? Other than the enemies of Edom, I have no clue who they are.
"While Israle performs valiently" Something about this phrase just makes me smile.
20) Amelek was the first of the nations- an interesting tidbit. Have they been destroyed yet (2009), or is that yet to occur?
22) "Who can live except God has ordained it?" No one. Not a single one of us. My every breath is ordained by God.
25) Balaam left on God's time, not Balak's. And Balak went home, a defeated man.

pop corn

Woks are good for more than just dogs.

My mom bought a wok at a garage sale a few years ago and never uses it, so I dragged it back with me in hopes that I could use it kind of like an electric griddle (since I don't have a stove). I used it for the first time tonight by making popcorn, a smashing success (and definitely not in the cookbook that came with the thing). The next experiment will probably be pancakes, although I don't have a nifty plastic flipper thingy. I'll have to find one somewhere.

Balaam Part III

21) This must be a blessing, not a statement of current affairs, since Israel has certainly had misfortune (resulting from sin) and they don't yet have a king.
22) Israel is a wild ox and God is the horns. In the OT, horns symbolize strength.
23) "There is no omen or divination against Israel" -only by the power of God, I am sure. They have plenty of enemies. I am sure Balaam isn't the first person who has been hired to curse them. Praise God for the protection He gives to His own.
24) Gory. Israel will not rest until they have conquered and demolished their enemies.
25) Balak is mad, and probably scared to hear all of this.
26) Balaam is now sounding like a broken record. I wonder what he is thinking during this. There really isn't anything else he can say. He can't apologize.
27) Why on earth would it be "agreeable with God" for Balaam to curse the Israelites from a different location? I think Balak is counting on God being powerless outside a certain range, altitude, proximity, etc. He doesn't plan to get God's approval, he plans to get outside God's reach and defeat Him from there. We read about a similar scheme in 1 Kings 20, where Arameans hoped that God was only a God of the hills, so next time they attacked Israel on the plain.
28) Yeah, this sounds like a more distant and elevated location.
29) More Worship!
24:1) Were all omens bad? Or just signs of how God felt and would act in a particular situation or towards particular person(s)? At any rate, Balaam wastes no time in beginning his blessing
2) The Spirit of God is apparently required for prophecy. This makes sense.
3) "The oracle of a man whose eye is opened" -even more than it was after his doneky spoke!
4) "Falling down, yet having eyes uncovered." I love the sound of this. Balaam repeats it a couple of times. I would like to know what, exactly, he means by it. My best guess is that it means he is completely submitted to God, prostrated before him, and yet he is alert and attentive, ready for service, not mindlessly zoned out. This, to me, is the ideal portrait of a fervent worshiper.
5) Praise of Beauty
6) Blessing of Fertility
Blessing of Proliferation
Blessing of Power and Dominion
Blessing of Honor.
Prophecy of God's power, protection, and dominance
9) I found a typo in my Bible! "He couches, He lies down as a lion"
--This is a reiteration of part of the blessing God gave Abram.
10) Striking hands together = not cool for Balaam. Fortunately, I think Balak is terrified of him by now.
"You have persisted in blessing them." --still misplacing the blame. What a compliment for Balaam! Seriously, what higher compliment is there than that you obeyed God rather than man when the stakes were high?
11) Yup, Balak is afraid. "Flee to your place now" sounds like a threat, but if he weren't afraid, wouldn't he just kill Balaam on the spot? This sounds like a little dog yipping as loud as it can to make the problem go away.
"The Lord has held you back" --He finally acknowledges God's part in all of Balaam's actions. I think he is probably trying to compare allegiances. I don't know if he still thinks it might do some good or weather he is just ranting to make himself feel better. If you serve me I would make you honorable, but NOOOO; you had to go serve God, and now look where it got you. It sounds like the parting shot from the losing side in an argument.
Notice also that the reward in question here is honor, not possessions. Unlike possessions, Balak can actually take away honor, and he is doing it here. Not only is he not rewarding Balaam, he is punishing him by declaring him dishonorable. Balaam can probably never show his face in Moab again.
12) Balaam's response: Don't blame me, you were warned. I'm going now, but first I have something to say... Balaam had a lot of guts to open his mouth again when Balak was so enraged. He clearly cared more about God's message than about his own safety. Fortunately, even though Balak was kind of dense he did know better than to pass up a prophecy.

The Balaam Saga, Part II

23:1 Did any of yesterday's sacrifices mean anything? Or do anything? Balak would be a lot better off if he only does what Balaam instructs. He has so much pride, that is hardly likely.
2 I am somewhat surprised that God didn't object to Balak participating in these offerings.
3. "Perhaps"- is Balaam having doubts? Of course, God never told Balaam why he was to go to Balak, only that he should. So Balaam is probably afraid at this point to be presumptuous.
"Bare hill"- probably a hill without a shrine to an idol.
4. clearly the 7 altars were an instruction from God, as were the bull and ram.
5. "Then the Lord put a word in Balaam's mouth"
"You shall speak thus"
--These phrases give us some insight into the nature of prophecy.
6. I find it somewhat amusing that all the top leaders of Moab are participating in sacrifice to God, who is directly opposed to their stated intent of destroying Israel.
8. He can't. If God hasn't allowed it, no curse will work.
9. "A people who dwells apart"- holiness?
"Will not be reckoned among the nations." Huh?
10. "Let me die the death of the upright, and let my end be like his!"
11. Duh...yup. Balaam warned him, but Balak didn't believe him. This is the point where Balaam is relieved to have gotten the unwelcome message over with and terrified of the consequences.
12. Balaam tries desperately to straighten Balak out. Passing the buck, but in this case it is legitimate.
13. Balak doesn't get it. He either thinks that Balaam is overwhelmed by the size of the people and therefore afraid to curse them, or he thinks that God won't mind of they curse a smaller portion of the Israelite population.
14. God is getting a lot of worship out of this, which is probably one of the main points.
19. The Climax!
A. God does not lie
B. God does not repent
C. If He says it, He will do it.
20. "When He has blessed, I can not revoke it."

At this point, anyone with brains would leave well enough alone. Apparently Balak didn't have brains... More tomorrow.

Balaam

This morning I began reading about Balaam. His story has always vaguely interested. But not until I read it slowly, absorbing details, did I really notice the drama, the conflict, the fascinating characters, and the brilliance of God. Here is an abridged version of my notes (the numbers are verses within Numbers chapter 22):

6) Balaam's blessings and curses work. It seems that Balaam is blessing and cursing in God's name, based on what he repeatedly tells Balak's men and the way he always consults God. Balak (aka "bad guy") wants a supernatural mercenary but Balaam operates more like a prophet. Balaam seems to be a Godly man who wasn't Jewish. How did he meet God? I would love to know his story.
8) Balaam takes no credit for his "abilities," nor does he feel the freedom to act without consulting God. He understands the authority structure and he takes his responsibility seriously. He knows he is merely a representative.
9) When God asks this in the old testament, it generally means the people in question are about one step from the grave. Is this an honor thing? Is God testing Balaam? Or helping him process the request?
12) God tells Balaam not to go. End of story. Well, it probably should be...
13) Balaam obeys God. He refuses to go.
15) Balak really doesn't understand the situation. He either A. thinks Balaam operates on his own power, B. thinks that God changes His mind willy-nilly and will be impressed by a few human leaders, or C. Thinks that he is greater than God and can strongarm or trick Him into cooperation. If C., I don't know why he would want to waste his time securing the allegiance of such a weak diety. So I suspect either A. or B.
16) Balak, if I understand correctly, is knowingly trying to get Balaam to rebel against God's command and follow his command instead. This would have to be some version of A. Obviously if Balaam forsakes the source of his power, he will be powerless. Where, then, does he think Balaam gets his power? The "force"? Some idol (baal)? What makes Balak think that this mystical power will side with him? He is as blind as modern occult members, thinking that supernatural power will bow to the will of anyone who will harness it. Sorry, folks. No free lunches. Supernatural power comes with a pricetag of servitude.
17) In the whole world there are few appeals more convincing
18) ... and Balaam holds his ground. It probably frustrated him, but he knows, even if Balak doesn't, that he can't rebel against God. However...
19) Balaam seems to be weakening. It sounds like he really wants to go with these guys. He doesn't want to rebel against God. His chilly reception of the ambassadors proves that. But he really wishes that he could also somehow please Balak and these dignitaries.
20) I don't think God would say this if Balaam is truly neutral on the subject. On the other hand, maybe He does it because He has a higher purpose.
22) Something is wrong with Balaam's heart. He may be edging closer to outright rebellion. God is going to either stop him or set him straight, though, before he gets a chance.
23) The angel choses to be visible to the donkey. In other words, God doesn't intend to kill Balaam
24)...but He does want to stop him cold until he learns a couple of lessons.
26) God forces Balaam to provide the buildup. Who wouldn't respond to a talking animal? You can't just blow it off.
27) Balaam's honor. That is why he is so riled right now. He is self-conscious about looking inept before all the nobles as he leads his grand parade. He really has gotten too big for his britches. His donkey talks to him, obviously by the work of God, and he threatens to kill it. No wonder God puts the breaks on him. He is fearing man too much and God too little.
30) I love how God, after working him into a lather, draws him back to reality one step at a time. First, the donkey. WHY would it behave abnormally, Balaam? Use your brain, not your emotions. You are being a fool on many levels...
31) Lesson time. Balaam crumbles and learns:
#1 God doesn't change his mind because of money, fame, or impressiveness of humans
#2 Balaam has no power of his own, and if he persists in rebellion, it's curtains.
#3 Balaam doesn't have unlimited vision. His donkey saw something that he didn't. God will show Balaam only what he needs to see, and no more. Lest Balaam think too much of himself, God may just as easily reveal things to someone --or something-- else. In short, Balaam learns, "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!"
32) Now Balaam will be held responsible in a very uncomfortable interrogation.
33) Balaam felt humiliated moments before- the result of self-centered big-headed puffery. now he feels genuine humility- the result of being abruptly confronted with a wider perspective on the situation.
34) Balaam learned his lesson. He is ready to defy the nobles and head home
35) But now that God has Balaam back in the right place, he can serve on a greater mission. What Balaam is about to do requires a lot of faith and determination- defy the king to his face. Balaam is about to risk his life, but now for the right reasons.
37) Balak expresses displeasure over the first rejection, levels an accusation of dishonor, and falsly accuses Balaam of greed and pride. This is a significant amount of pressure. Furthermore, it is obvious that Balak totally doesn't get it.
38) My paraphrase of Balaam's response: "Well, I am here now, so get over it. And what I said before hasn't changed. I'm not your circus monkey."
40) Who or what is Balak trying to please? Or do? This probalby shows that Balak believes in some sort of diety, but that doesn't really jive with his treatment of Balak. Maybe he feels that he, as king, can use Balaam as a magical mouthpiece to the god of his choice.
Or perhaps he is just prepping Balaam. The phrase "sent some to Balaam and the leaders" is odd. It really sounds like the king was doing his own pow-wow and then provided for the others to do whatever rituals they needed to do in order to make the "magic" work. I this Pantheism? Something like Hinduism? Selfism? Mush? I favor the later.
41) An idol sacrifice place. He probably chose it because of demonic power that dwelled there. But God can move anywhere, even in demonic strongholds.

The drama continues tomorrow...

Eagles

Getting home for the weekend was really a blessing. I was able to hang out with my brother on the end of his spring break and also goof off with my cousins. On Saturday night we played crab walking soccer in my Grandma's basement. It was violent, exhausting fun. Then we played lay-on-your-back volleyball to give ourselves a break.
On Sunday the theme of the service was hope. It was something I need a lot right now. After that we drove my brother back up to school. Good trip, and we got in some good conversations.
On Monday I was able to relax a little and spend some time with mom. That night we had some friends over for supper. They were also really encouraging to me. We had a delightful evening. I also got to help their daughter with her algebra. I love doing math as long as it isn't my own! I also love catching math books making mistakes, and I'm pretty sure hers made one on one of her problems. Good old Holt.
Anyway, I finally headed back to the cities on Tuesday. As I was driving away from our house, I saw two bald eagles devouring a racoon on the road. I tried to get some shots, but they flew off. So I drove away, waited for a minute or two, and then came back in a slightly more stealthy manner. Still not very stealthy, though, since I was in my work clothes (good shoes and all). I still didn't get any good pictures that were correctly in focus. My auto focus must have been grabbing the wrong thing. But, after an abnormal amount of digital correction, I have some half-salvagable images that look okay as long as you don't look too close:

He wasn't sure whether to eye me or keep going to town on the racoon.

This could have been a useful shot if my camera had focused.


I find the sign humorous, but I'm not sure why.

I included this one mainly because you can see my mom in the background.

The problem with photographing birds is that if you aren't concealed they always fly AWAY from you.

This is their lair.

back

I had a great internetless weekend at my parent's house. I shall post more details later.

Good Times

Today my friend Jonathan and his wife ventured from their North Carolina paradise to retrace his old stomping grounds in Minnesota. I hadn't seen them since their wedding last fall, so it was fun wandering around the cities with them and reconnecting.

The Refiner's Fire

It seems my prayers of late have been more and more focused on, “God, do you delight in making me nervous, or am I doing something wrong?” I know God likes last minute interventions. That fact drives me nuts. I try to be responsible. I feel that it is my duty to live as logically and carefully as I can with the reasoning skills God has given me. I don’t even take financial risks in board games! When find myself in a position where it is out of my control because others have to do their part, and I don’t see it happening, it really makes me wonder where the break in communication occurred. Can’t God tell he didn’t wire me for this? Apparently he also enjoys making his people do things they weren’t wired for. It probably has something to do with maturity.

Apartment Jungle

Well, I was looking at moving to a place that is cheaper and closer to work, but in the process of negotiations the landlord told me that he isn't going to be reporting rent on his taxes. For all I know, my current landlord might not be reporting rent on his taxes either. But at least he never told me he wasn't. And he accepts checks, so if he is dodging the law he does a poor job of it :-D So I had another wonderful ethics dilemma last night and came to the conclusion that I won't move in with anyone who I know to be dodging the law. Sad... it would have been a better deal. But I never felt peace about that guy anyway, so this is probably a good way to close the door and look for something else.

I have now spent the entire morning looking for apartments and rooms. I'm sick of it. I've been doing this for weeks. God, would you please just give me somewhere to live that is cheap, close to work, and not sketchy or shady in any way?

Praise Report

I got the shoes today that I bought on ebay. So even if the guy who sold them to me was disobeying the ebay rules (and its up to them now to decide that), at least he wasn't out to scam me. They are in really good shape, too. The listing said they were display models or had been tried on in the store, so you never know how that might turn out, but they look brand new (and believe me, I know shoes). Now the only question is whether they will work with my feet. I have goofy feet so a lot of shoes that work for 98% of the population rip up my heels or irritate my arches. These are Asics, but they are a model I have never worn before, so there is some risk involved.
I had a great session with one of my trainees today as well.
And Minnesota Wild just scored two goals at the end of the second period to give themselves half a chance of winning tonight, which they need to do if they want any hope of seeing the Stanley Cup.

Running and Other Activities

This week my marathon training begins. I will now be updating my Xrcise blog weekly, or daily if I become really obsessed, so you can see how I am doing. The number on the left is what my training plan says I should do. The number on the right is what I have done.

I enjoy moving to a new area because it changes the running scenery. Once the snow melts I will have more options as well.

I am now mostly moved in to the new place and wondering if I should have kept things more packed. The guy on the other side of the wall plays his television really loud 24 hours/day. This makes me wear earplugs to bed so I can sleep at night and headphones during the day so I can concentrate on my work. This morning when I got back from my run he had finally decided to turn his television off for the first time all week, which is a blessing.
The room is also really cold- to the point that I generally wear a jacket- and I don't control the thermostat. Furthermore, I am still a 25 minute drive from work, which doesn't make much sense when I work one hour shifts. So I am still checking Craigslist regularly for open rooms closer to work.
Two days ago I gave myself an online marketing crash course. Then I wrote out a script so I would have some clue what to do with a telephone, and then yesterday I started calling. Such fun.

Church was Great

I went to the South campus of Bethlehem Baptist today. The sermon was really good. The pastor (not Piper, he is apparently taking 8 weeks off to write 2 books :-O ) talked about the parable of the sheep and goats. He said that if you really look at the wording in the book of Matthew, the only way it can be understood is that the "least of these brothers of mine" is not a reference to the down-and-out in society, but rather the disciples, those who followed Jesus. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't minister in compassion to the disadvantaged. It does mean that our salvation doesn't depend on it, and the social justice gospel is seriously lacking. It also doesn't mean that we should be helpful to other Christians in order to get into heaven. Notice that the sheep didn't realize their behavior was gaining them "browny points". They did it naturally because God had changed their heart, and that heart change is what we need. Our behavior is a sign of our salvation, not a method for it.
My bosses and their daughter were at church, so I got to talk to them. After that I helped tear down and pack the equipment and I got to meet some really neat people.
It was a good morning.

Heater Core

I think my poor old car is leaking antifreeze into the heater core. I don't really have money to have someone else fix it. Based on reports from my Uncle and random people online, I don't want to try it myself. So I guess I am just going to go without heat or defrost from now on.