For of such as these

 I had quite a day yesterday on an island just outside of town. My first experience there was a fairly bad one so I was hoping to redeem my perspective this time around. I think I did, though there were three events in particular during the day that are going to require a good deal of thought, reflection, and prayer (and will probably give rise to three different blog posts!) I will start with the one that had the least to do with the island itself.

You may recall that some time ago I wrote about the massive amount of need that I see around me and how I feel completely clueless as to how to address it. In the weeks that have passed since then, I haven't gotten much closer to finding a solution. I bought apples for some kids once, but most of the time I still ignore people. It's just so overwhelming, and I can't help everyone...

This island was the scene of the most serious harassment I have received so far in the country. I had women swarming around me, violating their own cultural norms, not accepting "no" in their own language or any other, absolutely determined to get me to buy their necklaces or paintings or whatever else they were selling. They stooped low. "My friend, my friend, I am making you an excellent deal. Am I ugly? Is that why you won't buy from me? Are you racist? Are you ignoring me because I'm black? I want to be your friend..." They used everything they could possibly think of, and it went on and on and on like that for more than an hour. One of them actually grabbed my arm and tried to drag me to her stand. I felt hopeless and trapped. It is a small island, I couldn't just walk away.

As we were waiting for the ferry back to the mainland I started playing with a couple of kids on the beach. Suddenly they started trying to sell me a soccer ball. An adult appeared out of nowhere and started haggling with me for the price. I was shocked. Even the kids were out to sell me stuff! Nobody was safe. It scarred me to the point that to this day I tend to automatically shy away from anyone who addresses me as "mon ami" (my friend), even in my own neighborhood where they may actually be somebody I know.

So it was with that background that I returned to the island. I was determined to not be a target. I was certainly not going to buy anything, because if you buy one thing all the other sellers see it and they won't leave you alone. I was seriously thinking about speaking German all day long, because if they didn't know that I speak French and English they might leave me alone. I know, I am a coward. But I just felt so helpless last time...

This time I had no problems with sellers. I was with another young guy who had no intention of buying anything, and they could tell. We walked quickly enough that the nobody thought it worth the energy of trying to keep up after we told them that we weren't interested. I was very relieved and managed to actually enjoy the island.

But there was one seller who approached us, and now I wish I had done something for him. It was near the end of the day. We were hot and tired and had decided to sit down for a couple of minutes in the shade by the harbor/beach area. As we sat there we were approached by a boy, perhaps 10 years old, who was selling little bags of dried fruit. I never even looked at him. I know it seems absolutely cruel, but in my mind he was not a boy. He was a vendor and I needed to avoid him. I remember now that he spoke quietly. I'm sure he wasn't enjoying the interaction any more than we were. After asking a few times if we were interested, hesitantly asserting that it was a good price, and still getting our polite but completely impersonal responses, he shuffled off down the path.

Looking back on it, I wonder what I could have done. I had money in my pocket. I probably could have bought his entire tray of dried fruit for a couple of dollars. But it's hard to know if that would have been the right response. Maybe that would feed his family for the night, but it would also encourage the parents to keep sending him out to sell because they know he will sell more than an adult would. But if they only other option is the family going hungry... so many unknowns. Looking back on it, I wish I had told the boy to go have fun for half an hour. I could guard his tray for him while he was gone and pay him enough to make up for the amount of money he would have made from half an hour of sales. I feel like that's the kind of thing that Jesus would have done.

When am I going to get good at this? I need to get over my own fears and discomfort and start seeing others.  I need to get good ideas at the time rather than two hours later when I look back on it. Which essentially means that I need to get a lot closer to God.

One of my friends and former professors recently posted some good insights about this on his blog:

http://apprentice2jesus.com/author/apprentice2jesus/