"Ride At Your Own Risk" (Oh, I Will!)

I noticed the following warnings on my toy plastic sled:
-"This product is intended for use by one child" (violated 12/5/08, three full-grown people)
-"Sled cannot be controlled, maneuvered, or stopped" (trees stop it really fast)
-"Never use near... hills" (are you serious?)
-"Do not stand or kneel on sled" (no wonder they don't think it can be maneuvered)
-"Always face forward when sledding" (violated 12/5/08, at which time I nearly ended up testing the tree- brake system)
-"Keep hands, head, and feet inside the sled at all times." (This brings a really funny picture to mind. I'll take it when I get a chance. My camera batteries are charging right now.)
-"Do not tow with motor vehicles" (This is so much fun!)
-"Helmet and other appropriate safety equipment should always be used." (HaHa! The funny picture just got better.)
-"Inspect toy periodically for loose or damaged components" (If it breaks in half, I'll know)
-"Shoes must be worn in use." (I find it difficult to pull my boots on over shoes.)
-"Maximum weight limit: 59lbs" (I suddenly feel so obese)

I wonder what the safety lawyers would think of this: